Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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