i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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