"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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