I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
