Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Is it penis luge time yet?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
