drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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