rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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