Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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