You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
