That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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