PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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