Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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