I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
