Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
