i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
