And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
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i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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