when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
