Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
