Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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