ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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