the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
