I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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