Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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