I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
