look no pants
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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