My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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