Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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