i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I enjoy the company of your penis
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize