That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
