Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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