I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
