Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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