Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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