My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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