That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
