I've blown a few things in my day
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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