you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
