You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
