Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
