areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize