i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
