the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize