I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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