You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
