I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
