Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
pop tarts are not kleenex
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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