They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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