Is it because I queefed?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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