Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
