In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize