It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
