Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
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He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
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I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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