I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
