I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.