chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
