Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
