Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.