Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic http://tfl.nu/11wq
  Replies (6) Good night (968) Bad night (2271)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  My boss' voice literally gives me gas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): My boss' voice literally gives me gas http://tfl.nu/s0me
  Replies (5) Good night (605) Bad night (2267)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome http://tfl.nu/pei8
  Replies (45) Good night (932) Bad night (6458)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky http://tfl.nu/0cqb
  Replies (27) Good night (3060) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list? http://tfl.nu/v2ct
  Replies (28) Good night (1168) Bad night (4710)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car. http://tfl.nu/1zvq
  Replies (8) Good night (805) Bad night (2459)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing http://tfl.nu/jpc8
  Replies (4) Good night (1897) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis." http://tfl.nu/nekp
  Replies (5) Good night (2663) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco http://tfl.nu/xqa3
  Replies (9) Good night (3186) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now. http://tfl.nu/wlt7
  Replies (16) Good night (2442) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it. http://tfl.nu/33t2
  Replies (1) Good night (909) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/1wnj
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar! http://tfl.nu/p74j
  Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME. http://tfl.nu/zc45
  Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need http://tfl.nu/txcf
  Replies (3) Good night (408) Bad night (160)

Randomize