Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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