We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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