the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
