everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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