so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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