I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
